What does relationship anarchy mean to me?
In short, it means I aim to love and respect others as autonomous individuals, and expect the same of them. I celebrate the different relationships in my life without comparing them hierarchically. In more detail, this means:
I'm against normativity in relationships, which means the pressure for relationships to look or feel a certain way dictated by cultural expectations in order to be considered real or valuable. Instead, I believe people should be free to customise their commitments with others on a case-by-case basis.I want to respect others' integrity, which means I don't believe in controlling people through rules or coercion. I believe in transparent, vulnerable conversations and empathy instead of entitlement. I believe that love is abundant and that nobody is "the one". Instead of wanting someone to be "my everything" and having the expectation that a romantic partner will fulfil all my needs and I theirs, I want to let the people I love be themselves, without the pressure of filling a predetermined role. While everyone should be free to be autonomous, people need others, too, to live: we're interdependent. I believe relationships should be about looking out for each other while letting each other be free.
What does queerness mean to me?
I'm attracted to people of all kinds of different gender performances where those gender performances don't pander to the patriarchal male gaze. To me, this is something that I feel I can read to some extent in people's gestures, their way of presenting themselves, their way of speaking and moving around others, their whole way of being. For example, I like men who are gentle, and not posturing or possessive (even if they're muscly!), and women who live as I attempt to, in touch with their own feelings and desires, rather than complying with cultural pressure to treat their own bodies like objects. I think that nonbinary people are amazing and I love them in all their stripes.

Queerness is to me a political affiliation: it is the politics of the body, and its tenet is that everyone should be free to self-determine the way their bodies exist and move through this world without being seen as lesser, or threatened. Queerness means living, in your body and heart, outside of normative patriarchal values.

Why do I run a suggestion blog about intimate moments?
I love the feeling of infatuation, and I cherish precious moments with intimate partners. I don't value physically intimate partnerships over friendships, but this is a particular space for exploring my feelings of yearning, infatuation, and physically intimate love.

I really enjoy others' suggestion blogs and all the love and care they're putting out into the world. I do find though that I often encounter posts about wanting to find "the one and only" who will be your "everything" for the course of your lives. I want to explore through my posts the concrete, sensory details of intimacy without including those ideas which don't resonate with how I understand love.

Anyway, feel free to send me questions on my page. I hope you enjoy what I write! Sending care and acceptance your way. <3

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